Keeping it Real

It seems as though we fell off the face of the earth after we announced our big news!  In reality, I do feel as though I've neglected a lot of things these past two months because I've been concentrating on one thing, completing our dossier for South Africa.  We've been on a time crunch trying to get things completed and turned in before South Africa shuts down for the month of December.  As the month of November winds down, it looks like it is a near impossibility for that to happen.  I've got everything done on my end, we just have some hang ups that are out of our control.  A big shout out to all of those who had to contribute to our dossier and did so willingly and quickly.  There were some hiccups along the way making sure signatures, dates, and notary information was complete and accurate, but it is done and sitting in a neat little stack in a pretty folder.  Now, if we could just get our fingerprints finalized, we will be on our way to sending our neat, thick stack of papers off.

When we started this blog, I wanted to make sure we portray truth when talking about adoption.  The truth is it is not easy.  It is not always fun.  It is hard.  Right now, I'm in hard.  I'm angry and frustrated.  Everyday I look at our daughter's face and my heart grows a little more for her.  And, at the same time, it breaks a little more because it's one more day I'm not with her.  Don't get me wrong.  Life is still going on around me and I'm present in it, I just wish she were here with us.

Another big day is coming up and we won't be with her and it makes me wonder who will be.  Our daughter is turning 7 in December.  We won't be with her.  We don't even have the date, we just know it is in December.  Hope asked me the other day if we will celebrate her sister's birthday.  My response was yes.  We will pick a day for now and that will be the day we celebrate her.  I will make some new foods from South Africa and we will sing Happy Birthday and eat cake and pray for her just like we do every night at supper.

Our time table is looking a little different.  We were hoping to be traveling in late January or February.  Right now I'm praying that a miracle happens and we will travel in March.  If not, I just may miss Taylor graduating from high school.  In my heart, I know Taylor will understand if I do have to miss it, but I don't want to miss that milestone.  I want us to be a family of 7 by that point, all together under one roof.  This is where I let worry and anger creep in.  I don't understand the "why" behind the delays.  But, I know God knows and I have to be okay with that.

With all the highs and lows that come with adoption, I am still thankful God called us to do this.  Adoption has brought so many great things into my life.  He's given me new perspectives and valuable friendships.  He's grown me as a person.

Thank you for continuing to support us and love us through this.  It means so much and we are thankful for each one of you.

One highlight from the last two months was Jeremy taking me to see Jeremy Camp for my birthday.  One of his songs is what spurred us into action with this adoption.  It's called Reckless and I'm pretty sure Jeremy has posted it on here before, but it's too good not to share again.