The Judgement Game

Christmas is probably one of my most favorite times of the year.  I enjoy heading out to a tree farm to find the "perfect" tree for our home.  I love seeing the faces of our kids light up when they find the perfect one.  We pull the tag, take it and head to the store to warm up with some hot chocolate.  Although today it was quite warm for tree picking, the kids still wanted some hot chocolate.  It's tradition!

I love putting the ornaments up on the tree while listening to some great Christmas music (I could start listening to Christmas music the beginning of November and not be sick of it by Christmas).  Every year my mom buys us each an ornament to represent something in our life that year.  So, when I hang the ornaments, it usually brings lots of memories that each one represents.  I even let the kids help decorate the tree if they want.  It's usually imperfectly perfect....just how I like it!

Another tradition I love to do with our family is our advent wreath.  We pulled it out of the dusty box and put the candles in and set it on the dining room table.  We've done this since Taylor was little and we still use the same book we started with.  In fact, I lost it one year and panicked because I couldn't find it in a store.  I had to order it online, but at least it was still made.  We've tried others, but they just weren't the same.

Along the way, I've also added in another advent tradition.  Each day the kids pull a tag from a poster and it will have a little note of what we're supposed to do that day.  It might be movie night with the family.  Or, hot chocolate bar.  We might go buy food to donate to the food shelf.  And, buy Christmas presents for the Angel Tree that our church does.  Whatever the activity is, we do it as a family and that's what I love the most about it.  With Taylor getting older, it's a bit harder to include her in on these things.  It makes me sad that one day she will no longer be in our house to participate in these activities.  But, I will take her whenever I can.

While I was looking on facebook tonight I came across someone talking about Elf on the Shelf.  I know lots of people who do it......and the pictures they post are funny!  I just choose not to do it.  No judgement.  It's just not for me.  We also don't do Santa in our home.  Again, no judgement.  It's just not for me.  (If you were here right now you'd see Hope recording herself as an elf on one of those dancing elf things).

And, that's the thing that happens.  When I tell someone we don't do Santa they look at me like I'm a little crazy.  Sometimes they look at me as if I'm casting judgement on them because they do Santa in their home.  I'm really not.  Everyone approaches traditions and holidays differently.  Please don't read into what I'm not saying.  

Earlier this week when I had bible study we were talking about this.  How we might be talking to someone and telling them the convictions in our heart, but then it might seem as though judgement is being passed because someone else chooses to do things differently.  We need to remember that everyone is different.  What God puts on one person's heart doesn't mean He puts it on everyone's heart.  If God is stirring in your heart, you will know it's Him.  He will keep putting it in front of you and one of those times, you'll feel the conviction.  

So, while God has convicted us to adopt, it doesn't mean I think everyone should.  It doesn't mean I am judging you if your heart isn't where mine is.  I may be passionate about it, but that's God using me in this area.

I think a lot of times we need to cut each other some slack.  We need to remember that we are all uniquely made and we won't all see things eye to eye.  

Enjoy this holiday season with your family.......however you choose to celebrate it!

Here are two of my sweet kiddos helping with the tree hunt!

Can I just say I'm happy that no shave November is over!! :)  Hope thought it would be funny to take pictures of the "stages of beard removal"!

(Scary, right?)

And, if you are thinking about an alternative to Elf on the Shelf, I came across this blog and thought it looked cute!
http://theimaginationtree.com/2013/11/alternative-elf-on-shelf-tradition-kindness-elf.html

It Takes a Village

That statement has never been more true for our family (in more ways than one)!  There have been many times since we've had children that we've needed to rely on the help of family and friends in one way or another.  In Africa (and probably many other places around the world) it is very common to live with extended family, or at the very least, live very close to one another.  This is done because they know that it takes more than just parents to raise the children.  And, now we're relying on you to be our village.

Today, our family was launched on the Village to Village International website to help with our adoption.

How does this help us?
Village to Village allows any donations for our adoption through Village to Village to be tax deductible!  We feel like this is a huge blessing for our family and cannot wait to see how God provides through this partnership!

What is Village to Village?
It was born out a person's desire to walk along side families in their adoption to help support their needs financially.  This is a little piece from their page:
"Our purpose being to make a dent in the global orphan crisis one child at a time through helping families tackle the financial barrier to adoption and by advocating for orphans that are in need from every nation. That is our beginning and honestly we just keep taking the next step hoping Our Creator will meet needs and change lives through us. As Bob Pierce said, "Don't fail to do something just because you can't do everything." The orphan crisis is layered with different issues and will not be tackled by one individual, however, our God is aware of the needs and His heart is for the orphan. We're just two families, joined by two more, and two more, and so on. Unified in passion for children, hoping to be lives that reveal the Glory and Goodness of our Creator in areas of life that seem hopeless! "

How do you donate?
You can click on the donate button on the right hand side of our Village to Village page (link below).  Or, you can also mail in a donation to the address provided on that page.  Note that the donations do not show up in real time, but will show up once the administrator adds it on.  So, if you donate electronically, expect it to take some time to show up.  All donations will then get paid to our agency when the next fees are due (the next payment we owe will be when we receive a referral).

Where are we in the process now?
Right now our dossier is being authenticated.  Once that happens it will be sent back to our agency and they will then forward it on to the country we are adopting from.  That will probably happen in 1-2 weeks. Then, we just wait to be matched with a child.

Here is a link to our family's page on their website.
http://www.villagetovillageintl.com/the-hartson-family-family-80.php

GIVEAWAY:
We are excited to have people continue to be a part of our village!  To help get this started we are going to do a giveaway!  For anyone who makes a donation of $20 or more to our family through Village to Village by December 15, your name will be entered in a drawing for a $50 gift card to TARGET! :)  

Letting Go

Many months ago Taylor informed us she wanted to go to Haiti.  And, Jeremy and I thought it would be a great opportunity for her to go.  My mom also thought it would be a neat experience, so the two of them started planning their adventure together.

Months went by and the time grew closer to her trip.  It was starting to become real that she was actually going to leave.  The night came to finally get everything packed and pretty soon, she was just waiting for the wee morning hours to arrive to say goodbye.

I will admit I'm a baby when it comes to saying goodbye.  I woke up at 2:30 that morning to give her one last hug before she took off and I held it together for her sake.  But, once she was gone, I just cried.  It was the first time I wouldn't be with her for a longer period of time.  And, to top it off, she was celebrating her 17th birthday away from home.  That was really hard!

We heard from her every day through texting (thank goodness for technology!).  She sounded so happy and I could only imagine the stories she would come home with.

This weekend we were finally able to hug again.  When I saw her she was smiling!  There were some tears as she said goodbye to her other team members, but I could tell she had just experienced one of the highlights of her young life.  I am thankful for the adults who were on the trip with her.  They didn't "mother" her, they just loved on her.

She had a fantastic time and is already planning a trip back.  Talking to her and hearing her stories has really hit me.  That was me two years ago after we had returned from Ethiopia.  I really did become a different person.  But, sometimes it's hard to be the "different" one.  I'm curious how Taylor is going to transition back into life here.  She says she is doing well after her return home.  And, I think she is.  What she saw in Haiti is stuff we have talked about over the last few years.  But, seeing it.  Seeing it is a whole different ball game.  And, once you see, you cannot turn away.  Her biggest take away was you don't need a lot to be happy.  She is so right!

I am so honored to be her mama.  It is only because of God's grace that she is who she is.  Jeremy and I have made a lot of mistakes along the way.  She is our "guinea pig".  :)  But, it has been such a joy to watch her grow over the years (although if you know me, you know how much I struggle with letting my kids grow up).  I know this trip is just the beginning for her.  And, I'm okay with that.

Somewhere Out There

When I was little, I watched a move called An American Tale.  The movie was about a mouse and getting lost.  That's about all I remember besides one of the songs in the movie.  It was titled "Somewhere Out There".  Children of the 80's, please tell me you remember this movie!  I certainly wasn't the only one who watched it! :)

Lately I've been thinking about that song and how it pertains to our adoption.  I'm including the lyrics so you can see why.  

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

Now that it's getting darker outside earlier, I see the night sky often when running kids to and 

from their activities.  And, I tend to look at the moon and think how I am seeing the same moon 

that our next child is seeing, even though they are half a world away.

And, it makes me start to wonder if they have already had the loss in their life that will make 

them end up in a place that no child should ever be.  It breaks my heart to think that our child is going to have to go through some pretty difficult things in order for us to be together.  They will 

have loss that no child should have to experience.  Their heart will be hurting just as much as 

mine is now.

So, when I look up at the moon and I'm driving my other kiddos around, I say a prayer for our 

sweet child coming.  I pray that God watches over them and keeps them safe in His arms until 

they can be in ours.  

Saying Yes to God

It was awhile ago that I got asked to be in a small group with a few women from church.  Immediately in my head I knew I needed to be in it.  They were going to study something that dug deep.  And, it's exactly what I needed.  But, here's the thing.  I knew one of the gals well, and the other two I knew, but not on a "deeper" level.  I was a little afraid of being vulnerable with them.  Deep down, I knew I had to do it.  So, the four of us plunged in together on a 6 week study.  I shared with them some things about my past that I'm not proud of, but those things shaped me into who I am today.  In those moments of sharing, I wasn't met with judgement and it was refreshing.  It's hard for me to let people get so close because I know they will at some point see the "ugly" and I'm afraid of what people will think of me after they see it.

After the 6 weeks were up we had to decide if we wanted to keep meeting.  Without hesitation, we all said yes, just maybe not as frequently (we had been meeting weekly).  That's how our monthly coffee outings began.  We'd meet up after most of our kiddos were tucked into bed and sit around and share and laugh and laugh some more.  We have a real comedian in our group! :)

Some time went on and we decided that if we were going to continue calling our outings "bible study" we might actually want to study the bible!  A couple of book ideas were thrown around and one was settled on.......When Women Say Yes to God.  It's something I continually struggle with.  How do I know I am listening to God?  How do I know it is Him speaking to me?  What if it's really my inner voice convincing me it's God?  I can literally drive myself crazy with those thoughts.

Earlier this year I went through a devotion that led Jeremy and I say yes to adoption again.  But, once the big YES was decided, I started letting doubt creep in.  How can we possibly do it again?  Maybe it was really my inner voice convincing me to say yes and not God.  You see what Jeremy has to put up with!

We read chapter 2 this past week and in it Lysa gave five points to help a person discern whether it is God's impressions for our lives or whether it's our inner voice.  I started reading through those 5 questions and it was like my eyes were opened for the first time on knowing whether it's me or God.  I went through those questions and related it to our adoption and it helped confirm for me all over again that God is in this.  It is His calling on our lives to do this again.

We got to the end of sharing our thoughts on the chapter and then started going through some of the questions at the end.  One of the questions was something along the lines of....what is one area where you conform to the things of this world.  Hmm, let me think about that one.  Then, one of my friends said, "Maybe the better question is, in what way don't we conform to this world?"  She nailed it!  That thought is so constant in my mind and it's opened up a whole discussion again between Jeremy and myself about how our family needs to re-evaluate how we do some things.  Just because the world may say we need this, this, and this, doesn't mean it's true.

That's why I love getting together with these women.  They continue to push me to grow in so many areas in my life.  I keep wondering what if I hadn't said yes when one of them asked me to be a part of this group.  I would have missed out on so much (and my stomach muscles might not get as much of a workout either)! :)